THEE One And Only Little Red Wagon Story

Maybe you can't tell, but I am one of the worst procrastinators I know. My previous blog was written and and posted within 15 minutes of the deadline so I thought I would get an early start this time. It's not that I don't like writing these blogs, I can just never decide what to write about! My life is just soooooo exciting.. I'm just kidding, life is great. As I was reading through the topics to write about, I was convinced I was going to write about how stressful the whole "college commitment" decision has been, but then it hit me. You may be thinking to yourself, what hit you, Ellen? Well, you are about to embark in one of my favorite snow day memories.. of all-time.
It all started one snowy Monday morning, which of course turned out to be a snow day (there is officially nothing better than a Monday snow day). It was a beautiful morning with a fresh coat of fluffy snow, unlike the icy snow days of death we have been encountering lately. Adam and Kevin, two of my great friends at the time, immediately text me to see if my hot tub was in working condition so they could come over for the day. I, of course, had no problem with this because I wanted to do something with my snow day other than shoveling the side walk and facebook creeping. As soon as they arrived, we went down to the hot tub only to find that it had been drained and cleaned the previous day. Just our luck, right? We found ourselves at a loss of what to do...
So I lied. It didn't take us long to figure out that sledding on my backyard hill (that I had hosed down the previous night) most definitely needed to be part of our snow day. We dug through my garage finding ten year old sleds, shovels, snowboards, and even plastic wrap to slide down the hill on. It was entertaining for awhile, but Adam's curiosity got the best of him and he ventured back into the garage not knowing he would come across the best sledding object of his lifetime. That's right, you guessed it. Adam proudly sauntered out of my garage with our ancient, "lil red wagon" in hand.
Most of you know Adam and Kevin which should make the situation I'm about to explain to you that much more entertaining. Kevin, being one of the biggest pessimistic people in the world, immediately shakes his head at Adam and doesn't hesitate to assure him that he is indeed an idiot. Turns out, just this one time, Kevin was right on the money. Adam set the wagon at the top of the hill and tucked his knees up so he was balled up just enough to fit in the wagon space provided. Kevin and I began to push him down the hill and unfortunately for Adam, it didn't take long for him to pick up some speed thanks to the sheet of slick ice under the rickety, old wagon wheels. All was going as planned until the bottom of the hill emerged with a large snow drift that was sure to stop Adam dead in his tracks. He attempted to ditch the wagon but failed miserably and reached for the handle to try to steer the wagon. Now that Adam's legs were hanging off the front of the wagon, it began to tip forward JUST in time for him to hit the drift with serious force. I then watched as my best friend's crotch was propelled DIRECTLY into the steering bar that he was holding so very upright. The force of his body flying forward then catapulted the back half of the wagon into the back of his head which left him awkwardly sandwiched between a wagon in the middle of a snow drift. I hope you just chuckled, because it gets better.
Of course Kevin and I couldn't help but laugh a little but then we realized we should most definitely be helping our friend. Kevin strapped on his snowboard thinking he was a pro and rushed down the hill to remind Adam that he was, after all, a COMPLETE idiot. I carefully began my descent down the hill but looked up just in time to see Kevin not only wipe-out, but absolutely dominate Adam in the process. You see, Adam propped up from the wagon just in time to get run over by Kevin but table top him as well. Adam's mangled body was back to it's original position and Kevin lay ten feet further cursing Adam for his usage of the "lil red wagon". All I wanted to do was attempt to help them up and make fun of them, but I had absolutely no room to talk at this point... You see, I had just peed my pants.
I walk through our garage on a daily basis, but every once in awhile I catch a glimpse of that wagon in the corner and find myself laughing out loud. If you didn't find this story entertaining, I'm sorry for wasting your time but it was, without a doubt, one of the best snow days ever.